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| I miss my girl friend so much i feel physically ill.....
These miles are taking their toll.
But oh how worth the pain she is.
I would love her the same 5000 miles away.
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| I hope to awaken tomorrow morning to find out that what i thought was march 14th was just a dream and I get to experience the real march 14th.
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| hello xanga,
just needed to talk to someone figured the emptiness that is now xanga could use a a little talk.
I find myself to be the most inconsistent person i know. I just cant seem to find consistency in anything. My emotions,actions,devotions,thoughts,concerns, everything is just so up and down.
I really wonder why devotional/relational stuff with my Christianity comes so hard to me, it scares me sometimes to think about. And i believe this is why all the other stuff fluctuates so much, how can my life not bounce with the waves when my foundation rest upon the very same turbulent sea?
The only two things that have remained a constant in my life is transformers (sounds very odd i know, but they have always been there) and my desire to do nothing but ministry with my life.
more recently the only consistency is my love for and desire to marry my girl friend. But I fear that if i dont get off this choppy sea that I will never be the man she needs me to be.
Of a side note I truly understand now the verse about doing what you dont want to do and not doing what you do. My life right now feels so surreal, I really feel as though im living trapped inside a different version of myself or something, its crazy...
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| I finally cut off my hand and gouged out my eye.
(I finally get this passage of scripture, not the vague watered down meaning, but the real, harsh, brutal meaning.)
Let the journey begin...
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| Why post on here? I don't know but somehow it always draws me back.
Interesting year.
Finished Liberty. Saw good friends get married. Met a special girl. Worked a crazy lonely thought provoking summer job. Developed a relationship with said girl. Moved home. Got a blessing of a job. Found out I didn't finish Liberty. Plans to move back to lynchburg. Plans with the special girl. Plans to give my life to the needs of the world.
It has been a crazy year. God has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams.
He has broken me beyond all I thought possible.
He has sent me a wonderful, beautiful, and God-loving girlfriend, her name is Cheryl.
I have finally begun maturing in life. It scares me sometimes, I even hide it, but i am becoming more and more mature. God had to strip me of all desire and emotion and spiritual deed and get me alone and bare before Him. It has been a painful process. Now as a strong foundation is finally being laid in my heart, I hope and pray that he allows me the passion of my youth. I miss the passion I once had, and while it was misguided often, I yearn again for it. Sometimes in the quite, when life slows down just enough, it trickles though my veins and I dream if ever so slightly just for a moment.
God is good, and He is just.
I deserve nothing I have been given, and I owe all to Him.
So I praise you God, on this Christmas morning, You humbled yourself in the ultimate way.....for me. Oh how sufficient is your grace, and how beautiful your love.
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